Anxiety over having to attend social events
If you suffer with any the of social anxiety, any kind of festivities or social gatherings can feel like a total nightmare. In fact you my feel like you want to put your head under the duvet and not come out until next year.
This doesn’t have to be the case if you are able to understand what is really going on and you're able over come the thoughts that are creating the feelings of anxiety.
Here are a few things that I have learned from working with hundreds of clients who have struggled with the symptoms of anxiety.
Social anxiety often comes from;
The fear of being judged - let me just tell you this; we are all so worried about what’s going on in our own heads and own lives, that we don’t have time to notice what is going on elsewhere, so the fear of what other people are thinking of us is pretty irrational. I mean, are you judging what someone said at the last event you went to? Probably not, you’re too busy worrying about yourself. Lets me just tell you this. We are ALL thinking the same stuff so don’t worry we’ve forgotten already what you said or did and even what you were wearing. My favourite saying happens to be "what they think of you is none of your business" - Wayne Dyer. It is so true. None of us has the power over anybody else thoughts - we can just about manage our own, so it is just wasted precious life if we try to work out what someone else is thinking.
Here are some bullet proof tips to help you to enjoy life over the festive period;
1. Bring yourself into the present moment.
Anxiety comes from over thinking abut the past or worrying about the future .
When we learn how to spend time consciously breathing, then we can only be in the present moment and the over thinking and worrying just fades away. It really is impossible to be in a state of anxiety when you are breathing slowly and mindfully. We can use this breathing technique to grow our 'focus' muscle too. One of the principals that I teach my Anxiety Release Method Coaches is 'what you focus on grows'. When we focus on calming breath, calm and control grows, when we focus on anxiety, guess what gets bigger?
Anyway....back to breathing
I promise you this works!
You can learn to do this by watching this video https://youtu.be/DQo1qjxY7mQ
The practice of breath and meditation combined is a super powerful combination which will help you to overcome the unresourceful thoughts that create anxiety. You can download my 10 minute meditation and listen as often as possible and this will help to power up your mind and have it working for you- not against you. Meditation has proved itself over and over again and it really does work. Guided meditations and visualisations that take you through the process of you imagining that you are where you need to be, and you can see yourself being calm, in control and confident. Once you have done it one you start to become less anxious about you being anxious in public.
3.Make sure you have enough recharge time !
Being with people is great, we are tribe animals and one of our human needs is love so we really can benefit from the interaction with others, however, you have got to get used to setting boundaries for yourself and saying NO to people when you don’t truly want to be there.
ALL decisions come from a place of either love or fear. Check in with yourself and focus on where you are making each decision from, really feel if you’re making the decision to go or not go- from a place of love for yourself or fear. You will get better at checking in and understanding yourself and your decisions more with daily practice of meditation.
Make sure you have recharge time between events and don't feel that you have to be all things to all people. You know the saying "put your own oxygen mask on first"! THIS!
4.Have a wing woman/man - support is vital
You don’t need to make anxiety a bigger drama than it already feels in your own mind, simply explain to your best mate, family member or colleague that you may feel a little uneasy and could they remind you to breathe deep/ smile/ stand straight/enjoy the moment or even that it is fine to leave early if you’ve just had enough.
You may find that just being supported is enough to allow you to get over the first few hurdles which could potentially create massive transformation in your life!
5. DO NOT OWN IT
I hear too many people saying things like “I have social anxiety” or “I am anxious” you are not! Stop owning it!
You’re just going through a blip in your life and it can be sorted.
Seek a great therapist who specialises in Anxiety Release Method and know that this can be over come and you can and deserve to life a happy, fulfilled and prosperous life!
Have a Merry Xmas, Wonderful Easter and Happy Birthday
Love and light