She nearly broke me! Warning vulnerable share…
If you’d have been with me in May 2015, you’d have found me sitting in front of a group of wonderful women…I was in one of my favourite places on the planet, Ibiza…The smell of the morning air was delightfully fresh, the sounds of nature all around, so healing for the soul. Yet…this morning I wasn’t feeling like I was being healed, I wasn’t feeling peaceful, inspired and happy, I felt totally the opposite! I normally adore running retreats, I love the sense of accomplishment and the transformation that my clients go through, whilst they immerse themselves in Yoga, Meditation, clean eating, hypnosis, coaching and other life changing activities…This particular morning was very different though…I was sat, with my clients in front of me, hiding my tear stained face behind my, typically, over sized sunglasses! I was suppressing the sobs, praying that nobody noticed.
You see, 10 minutes before I started my morning meditation, one particular individual thought it was ok to take me and shut me in my bedroom, holding onto the door handle, to prevent me from leaving. She was not happy, she compared this years retreat with the last one, which was a totally different affair. She was angry, she was mean and as she stood there, a woman who could have looked like my big sister with the same blonde hair and blue eyes, her words tore me apart.
I had undercharged, the group was way to big from me to handle without any assistance, I didn’t have any help and I was mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually drained. (you really can’t work on the operations side of running a retreat AND deliver all of the sessions, single handedly) - lesson learned! Ouch!
When I returned from that retreat I felt defeated, I felt like I had gotten my life purpose so wrong, I felt like I was an idiot and just not good enough..I mean who the hell did I think that I was, to think that I could help all of these people?
I lost all of my confidence. I went for job interviews. As a single parent; mother, father and bread winner, I was shit scared and hadn’t a clue what to do next.
Thank god I epically failed at those interviews, thank god that I didn’t change my direction. I did pick myself back up I did learn, I did grow. Although rather painfully…It took me a long long time to recover from that verbal beating that 4 of those women gave me on that trip. Like a LONG TIME!
What I did learn is this;
I recently saw a fb post from woman number 1 telling people to be kind to each other and preaching on how we as women should hold each other up(not sure how as I’d obviously unfriended her)….kind of made me cross and then sad, I wonder is she knows how much her cutting words affected me?
I have made lots of mistakes in life and business and that is why now, I want to help and support those in similar industries to not go through the same pains as I did. I now know how to run amazing retreat, awesome 1-2-1 sessions, transformational group coaching. If you are a health and wellbeing professional and you’d like to feel supported with a like minded community then please come along to my Facebook group. Anxiety Coaching Secrets-how to support your clients and boost your income!